How Do I Tackle The Anger And Bad Behavior Of My Child With ADHD?
ADHD | admin | November 17, 2009Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) inflicts a variety of problematic behaviors on your child that he/she exhibits frequently. Out of the problems caused by this disorder, two of them are getting angry and behaving badly very often, as compared to other children who too behave badly and get angry in many matters but not that frequent. Such a high frequency of anger and aggressive behavior are attributed to the basic symptoms of hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention that affect the manner in which your child acts. Let’s have a look of how these symptoms are associated with the aggressive behavior.
- Hyperactivity
This causes the following unexpected changes in the behavior of your child.
Fiddling- Running and talking about excessively
- Difficulty in and playing quietly
- Damaging others’ toys, games, and items
- Play rudely
- Harm other children
- Impulsivity
This causes the following unexpected changes in the behavior of your child.- Bursting out of answers
- Speaking without giving a thought
- Interrupting the games
- Revealing unexpected moods
- Lashing out if frustrated
- Inattention
This causes the following unexpected changes in the behavior of your child.- Poor attention to detailed explanation
- Difficulty in following the instructions
- Seem to not listening
Parents and teachers can feel that tackling such behaviors is beyond the reach of out skills. Such thinking is often observed in their behavior, as they tend to give negative feedback for the child having ADHD. Let me tell you that if this is the case, it would lead to a vicious circle wherein your such negative comments might be responsible for more aggressiveness in the behavior of the child leading to a result less treatment of never-ending ADHD. Not only this, it might also lead to some conduct disorder to which children with ADHD are more vulnerable. So, such related parenting styles should be avoided.
Sometimes, you might think that why only I have such a child as compared to my other relatives and friends. At this time, just remember that you are tackling with ADHD, and not with your child. Because, nobody is at fault for such problematic behaviors.
Ways to Deal with Angry and Bad Behavior
There are two ways to deal with angry and bad behavior, which are work as the two sides of the same coin. These are:
- Motivating the expected behaviour by offering rewards and attention
- Discouraging the unexpected behaviour through clear rules and punishments
The key to tackle aggressive behavior is ‘consistency’ and ‘routines’! So, if you want to increase the probability of good behaviour, allow them to live as per their routine, such as, eating, playing, or sleeping at a fixed time everyday.
Look for an Effective Method
If the bad behavior of your child is beyond your reach to control and on the top of this, if you criticize constantly, ADHD will let you and your child suffer for the entire life. If this is your problem, apply the ‘traffic light system’ to understand first which behavior of your child really needs your tackling, instead of making your home a battleground. Here is the explanation of such a unique system.
- Green Behaviour
Includes things that are timely expected such as, helping at home, being nice to the guests, and speaking on when required and up to the point. - Amber Behaviour
Includes things that are fine, but might create problems later such as, running with a cone in their hand and snapping when asked to do something. - Red Behaviour
Includes things that not at all acceptable, which should not be done again, such as fighting or hurting others.
Lastly, see if you can avoid a problem totally. For instance, if a certain situation always call for a trouble, it is advisable to avoid it form some time.
Rules (Controls Behavior)
Rules actually set a limit to a child’s acceptable or unacceptable behaviour, which are implemented through rewards and discipline. They need to be concise and clear specifically in the case of handling a child with ADHD.
Rewards (for Good Behavior)
Rewards act as incentives for your child to motivate good behavior. This means that they need to be selected carefully according to the behavior exhibited. Remember the Goldilock principle, “Rewards should not be too big or small.” This sets you free to change your reward depending on well did the child interact.
Define simple and specific rules for behaviour, for instance, no eating while watching TV.- Inform the child about the rules so that he/she can understand them. Try to make them agree in advance before you enforce rules, such as what will be the sleeping time, what will be the play time, and so on.
- Explain the rules with a good motive behind it so that the child can easily follow it. For instance, eating will watching TV will spoil your stomach and thereby your health.
- Implement the set rules.
- Do not change the rule. Rules need to be fixed.
- Be consistent in applying rules. It might be boring or tiring, but not being so will make your child feel that he/she can get away with anything, spoiling their behavior further.
Discipline and Punishments (for Bad Behavior)
Here are certain tips on discipline that can help you deal with the aggressive behavior of your child.
- Obtain your child’s attention by calling her with her name and conveying clearly.
- Give short, but simple instructions.
- Punish the child immediately for any undesirable behavior. However, the punishment should be mild in nature that can help the child to transform its behavior from bad to good. For example, avoid punishing the child in public. The transformation might cost you time, money, and unwanted results; such as keeping your child away from his/her favorite play.
Listed below are a few examples of the punishments that can be given to a child exhibiting bad behavior.
- Enforcing Natural Penalties
This can be enough to prevent the child to behave badly. For instance, if the child tries to break a toy, tell him/her that he/she will not get another. - Time-out
This can be useful in tackling crabbiness. For instance, you can make your child sit in a corner. This can make your child to calm down. A rule of thumb that you can apply is “one minute of time-out for every year of age”. - Lost of Privileges
This can be losing of pocket money or birthday gift. It is advisable to restrict this kind of punishment for a day or two.
However, a punishment might not bring the desired results. This can be because of the following reasons:
- Too Severe
- Lately enforced
- Inconsistency, punishment given at one time for the same behavior and at the next time, it is not
Let’s consider some punishment tips to ensure that they are effective without taking any inconsiderable amount of time.
- Be alert to rewards a bad behaviour, for instance, buying him/her a toy on his/her birthday after breaking somebody else’s toy as this might be taken as a reward.
- Give punishments that are for very short duration and can be immediately given. Here, severity is not what matters, but it is all about maintaining consistency.
- Keep an eye on the effect of the punishment. Try some other track, if it is not affecting the child’s behavior. This is because a punishment might work today, but tomorrow it might not be that effective. So, change with the changing circumstances, but consistently apply the rules of rewards, discipline, and punishments!
- Speak to your child as to why the punishment is given and what should be done the next time to avoid a punishment once the child has calmed down.
- Praise the child if he/she has shown even little sign of improvements after your punishment or explanation
Lastly, if you feel still short of implementing all the possible ways to deal with the bad behavior, consult the ADHD team who is in charge of taking care of your child.
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